Do You Need Couples Financial Counseling?
Approximately 22% of marriages in the United States crumble because of financial issues. This represents almost one fourth of all marriages! Sadly, couples often lack the necessary communication and transparency regarding finances to function as a team.0-
When financial issues go unresolved, stress, home instability, and even an eventual divorce or split can occur…but it doesn’t have to be this way.
The right types of effort, conversations, and support can make all the difference. Hiring a Couples' Financial Counselor can help bring the relationship back on track, with a path to home and marital peace and peace of mind.
Couples Financial Counseling works for couples in all stages of life, from newlyweds to veterans. Counseling offers guidance and support through many different areas such as home-buying, beginning a family or adding more kids, and career or job changes.
Financial counseling helps couples align their goals to the same vision and promotes clear, concise communication about money. Often the communication techniques, and resulting improvement in trust and emotional safety, seep into other areas of life and promote a healthier overall relationship.
Can your relationship benefit from financial counseling?
What Is Couples Financial Counseling?
Couples Financial Counseling is an emotional, relational, and strategic practice aimed at helping couples improve their finances and communicate with each other about those changes. A Financial Counselor works with couples to unravel the source of their financial issues and tailors to each individual on a one-to-one basis.
Techniques vary depending on the counselor but may include analyzing childhood financial situations or using concrete tools such as spreadsheets to encourage the couples to share and to build financial clarity. Counselors help couples identify and isolate negative behaviors, such as hiding small purchases from their partners, and they work with the couples to smooth out these destructive habits and find a common goal so as to regain control over their financial lives.
How Does Couples Financial Counseling Work?
Couples Financial Counseling works through a series of personal and dedicated sessions. Depending on the plan, coaching sessions can vary in length or number. Usually, a financial counselor will meet with the couple one-on-one for 30-75 minutes, and then couples are encouraged to implement the techniques discussed when on their own at home.
Often, the counseling sessions will have a particular goal or subject as the focus, and each session will add on a new layer of planning and ideas. At the end of the entire counseling journey, the counselor will help the couple stick to the plan and further implement it to reach that couple’s version of financial success.
Marriage Counseling vs Financial Counseling vs Financial Coaching
Each of these fields deals with the harmony between couples, but each focuses on a vastly different facet of a couples’ life. Despite focusing on money issues in a relationship, financial counseling and coaching are entirely separate fields.
Marriage Counseling: Marriage counseling deals with all aspects of the relationship, and money is just one aspect. Scenarios, such as a partner having a gambling addiction, may require a marriage or addiction psychologist since the problem lies within the addiction and not the money itself. Financial infidelity is another situation that may merit a marriage counselor or marriage and family therapist who specializes in that depth of work. This way, they can dive in without the expectation to help the couple with the tactical and practical pieces of their finances. Marriage Counseling, also known as Couples Therapy, may focus on trying to heal past hurts, while Financial Counseling looks more at how each person can understand each other’s pasts and trauma so that they can be more patient and compassionate as they deal with their finances today.
Financial Counseling: Couples financial counseling helps couples who are experiencing some combination of stress, anxiety, tension, overwhelm, and/or avoidance around money within their relationship. Counseling focuses on managing your existing income and wealth with more intentionality while building trust and emotional safety so that the couple can create a joint vision for financial prosperity and a financial plan to implement it. To achieve this, financial counseling also relational patterns and communication challenges, as well as spending habits, financial behaviors, getting out of debt, and in general helping couples move toward a more stable situation.
Financial Coaching: Financial coaching is similar to Financial Counseling but may mean less diving into the emotional and relational parts of money within relationships. Couples in a relationship crisis may want to start with marriage counseling, but for couples in a stable spot looking to help grow their wealth and manage their money better in the future, then financial coaching may be for you. The main goals for a financial coach include helping couples to create a financial plan and make savvy decisions in the present to sustain those finances in the future.
The job title may matter less than understanding the particular professional in front of you, so do your research and ask your questions! For example, even though I call myself The Couples Financial Coach, my work still dives deep, arguably more similar to financial counseling from the above descriptions.
Click here to take a look at the services I provide and get started!
Signs You Need Financial Counseling as a Couple
Several factors play into the need to get a counselor, with different scenarios occurring for different couples, here some situations may merit a financial counselor, including:
A spouse not being willing to budget,
Couples considering bankruptcy,
A spouse hiding purchases,
Challenging financial imbalances,
Discomfort most or all times a couple tries to talk about money,
Noticing stress, frustration, and/or resentment building, and
An increasing amount of financially-centered arguments.
This list isn’t exhaustive, but it identifies some key reasons that couples may need a financial counselor.
Benefits of Couples Financial Counseling
In addition to helping couples get their finances in order, financial counseling offers many other positive outcomes. For example, financial counseling focuses on communication and the implementation of successful plans and habits, which can also be transferred to other aspects of everyday life.
Financial counseling has numerous benefits, including overall improvement of mental well-being. This is a result of knowing your financial situation AND having a plan you both buy into that will help you move powerfully in the right direction. Further, the improved communication between spouses and the introduction of better coping tools are also key benefits gleaned from financial counseling, introducing goal-oriented steps that can be instituted in everyday life.
Mental Well-Being: Financial stress leads to mental anxiety, worry, and in some cases, anger. Financial counseling helps smooth out these issues, leading to peace of mind and lower-stress financial situations.
Better Communication: Since financial counseling focuses on improving financial communication and financial conversations, this improvement in clear communication inevitably blossoms into other areas. Learning to be transparent in finances and all aspects of life tends to lead to more peace in the home.
Coping Tools: Sometimes, people turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms when dealing with stress, whether financial or otherwise. However, a financial counselor can help clients identify these poor habits, like buying stuff or going out to eat when financially stressed, and understand what would help ease them. Once that is done, them they can actually, over time, be shifted into productive habits!
Achieving Goals: Financial counselors encourage couples to explore and set financial goals for themselves. This typically helps each partner’s mindset, since humans are naturally goal-oriented. Having a tangible goal helps couples visualize their success, keeps them on track when times get tough, and also provides a concrete way to measure their progress.
How to Choose a Financial Counselor
As each couple has a different financial situation, and each deserves the best counselor they can find, then certain factors play into finding the best counselor. First, it’s important to identify whether a financial counselor or a financial coach is needed, since as described before, each has a different role to play. Remember to look at the substance and not just the title.
Next, consider the cost, the length of the program, how many sessions are offered, and what perks come with each of those.
Lastly, some financial counselors offer a free preliminary consultation session where they talk to and/or meet with the couple before setting up a plan to work together. Use this to determine whether the counselor would be a good fit, seeing if you feel safe and comfortable talking to them about money and whether they have the financial knowledge to provide you a lot of value.
Tips for Successful Couples Financial Counseling
As with anything, research is important in finding the right counselor, as well. I recommend that couples research each potential counselor, weighing out which one may fit best for their particular challenges.
Stay focused on wanting what is best for your partner, being there for them and building them up. This will help couples ensure that their counseling sessions go well, that they work out their differences, and that they get and stay on the same page.
Lastly, paramount to a couple’s success with financial counseling is their willingness to talk openly; acknowledge the issues present in their financial situation; and try the techniques and activities their counselor or coach recommends. The more open, clear, and transparent a couple is, the more information the counselor has with which to generate suggestions and insights on positive changes that can be made to better the couple’s finances and relationship.
Final Thoughts-Does Couples Financial Counseling Really Work?
When it comes to measuring results, Client Testimonials are huge in gauging whether or not financial coaches deliver what they promise in improving financial well being, money management, and mental health. Each couple is unique, and an excellent financial counselor has tools and techniques for tackling each dynamic and situation.
To see the difference financial counseling could make in your life and relationship, take the first step and schedule a free consultation, today!
Want to level up your game around money in your relationship? My free quiz will help you learn your Couple’s Money Personality Type AND how you can grow from there!
Adam Kol is The Couples Financial Coach. He helps couples go from financial overwhelm or fighting to clarity, teamwork, and peace of mind.
Adam is a Certified Financial Therapist-I™, Certified Mediator, and Tax Attorney with a Duke Law degree and a Master's in Tax Law from NYU. He is a husband, dad, and musician, as well.
Adam's wisdom has been shared with The Wall Street Journal, the Baltimore Ravens, CNBC, NewsNation, and more.
