Female Breadwinners and The Challenges (part 2)
“You cannot control somebody else, so you can't fix that.
You can't change how somebody is, but you can change yourself. You can work on yourself, you can work on how you approach things.”
This a powerful idea that seems to come up repeatedly on The Couples Financial Coach Podcast, and Meghan Dwyer said it well this week.
I want to focus on that last phrase: “you can work on how you approach things.”
Let’s say your spouse is the one who is actually overspending. What can you do?
Perhaps you can still work on how you approach things, which could mean bringing more empathy and compassion, speaking your truth more, or whatever applies to your situation.
What I’ve seen time and again though is that if you keep doing the same things, you’ll most likely end up with the same results.
If you don’t like those results, then try a change in your approach. If the change doesn’t help, you can release it, but if it does, then you may have just changed the game.
The other benefit of this mindset is that you are never 100% the victim; instead, there’s always something you can look at and work on that you have control over — yourself!
Your significant other plays a role in the dynamic you’re working on shifting, too. But the angst you’ll experience if you try to force them to change will mess with you and leave you worse off.
Conversely, the approach Megan elevates on this episode of The Couples Financial Coach can leave you empowered, creative, and hopeful!
In a recent social media post, I referenced “opportunity” costs as discussed by Megan in this week’s episode of The Couples Financial Coach Podcast.
Here’s a reminder of what Megan said:
“There’s always opportunity costs. It’s not necessarily the dollars; it’s what else are you not doing?...
When you make the decision to do something...you’re saying yes to something, and you’re saying no to something else.”
For parents or childless-by-choice people, what were the opportunity costs you were (or weren’t) willing to forego in making your choices?
Let me know* via my LinkedIn, Facebook or Instagram channels - or email me at: Adam@CouplesFinancialCoach.com
*P.S. It goes without saying to please be respectful of what others share.
Want to level up your game around money in your relationship? My free quiz will help you learn your Couple’s Money Personality Type AND how you can grow from there!
Adam Kol is The Couples Financial Coach. He helps couples go from financial overwhelm or fighting to clarity, teamwork, and peace of mind.
Adam is a Certified Financial Therapist-I™, Certified Mediator, and Tax Attorney with a Duke Law degree and a Master's in Tax Law from NYU. He is a husband, dad, and musician, as well.
Adam's wisdom has been shared with The Wall Street Journal, the Baltimore Ravens, CNBC, NewsNation, and more.
