47 Important Financial Questions To Ask Before Marriage
Personal finance isn't likely the first thing you think about when in a romantic relationship, but it's one of the most important discussions you can have with your future spouse.
It's important to know how your partner feels about money, what their credit report looks like, and how much debt each person brings to the relationship.
It's not the sexiest talk you'll have, but it will certainly help strengthen your relationship and help you live in peace and harmony, setting you up for marital success.
To begin these discussions, set aside a specific time to talk about finances. Choose a time that's comfortable for both partners and allows time to unwind, relax, and have important financial conversations.
Why Talking About Financial Matters Is Important Before Marriage?
There are a lot of things to talk about before and during marriage, but none are as important as finances. The earlier you and your soon-to-be spouse can be on the same page financially, the easier it will be to manage money together.
Loving someone and wanting to spend the rest of your life with them doesn't mean they have the same financial goals or ideas for managing and spending money. Many factors affect how a person handles money, including:
How they were brought up with money
How much debt they carry
Past spending habits
Any negative financial events they experienced
The amount of income they earn
The amount of money in their bank account
Knowing what your future spouse values when handling money, how they feel about credit card debt, and how they spend discretionary money can help you gain valuable insight into their habits.
47 Financial Questions To Ask Before Marriage
The money questions to ask before marriage cover all aspects of handling money, including how they make financial decisions, what they feel about investment accounts, and whether they think joint or separate accounts are best for a marriage.
If you're in need of a mediator to help answer these questions, schedule a consultation with a financial coach!
Financial Goals and Values
Some of the most important information you can get from your soon-to-be spouse is regarding their financial goals and values. When asking your spouse questions, start with things like:
How do you decide how much money you can spend?
How do you prioritize living expenses?
Do you have a savings account and contribute to it regularly?
Do you consider yourself a spender or a saver?
How do you determine which expenses are essential and which are non-essential?
How do you handle windfalls when you receive them?
What financial goal would you like to achieve in the next 1, 2, and 5 years?
How do you save for long-term goals, such as retirement goals?
How much (or how much will you) contribute to retirement savings annually?
How many children do you want?
Do you see both partners working, even after starting a family?
Do you like to spend money on items or experiences?
What are your past experiences with money?
How did your parents handle money? Did they talk about it?
How will you handle aging parents and their money matters or needs?
What age do you plan to retire?
Income and Debt
You likely already know how much money your future spouse makes, but do you know the true details about his income and, more importantly, his debt? Here are some questions to ask to get the ball rolling.
What financial assets are you bringing to the marriage?
What are your credit card balances?
Do you have other large debts, such as student or car loans?
Do you owe money to anyone?
Do you make more than the minimum payment when paying credit card bills?
What are your credit scores?
Is your payment history mostly on time?
Do you anticipate getting a raise in the future?
Is this the career you plan to stay in the long term?
Are you comfortable keeping a credit card balance?
Do you have any negative financial events in your life, such as bankruptcy?
Do you prefer to have a prenuptial agreement?
Would it bother you if your spouse made more money than you?
Budgeting and Spending Habits
It is critical to know your soon-to-be spouse's budgeting and spending habits. Whether you are a seasoned budgeter or don't know how to budget, you want someone who can fill in the gaps or at least share the budgeting responsibility.
Do you like to create and monitor budgets or have a hands-off role?
Do you prefer that both parties are responsible for paying bills or just one?
How do you plan for major purchases?
What stresses you about money?
Do you have a threshold for spending that you think the decision should be made together?
Do you believe in giving to charity?
Savings and Investments
Understanding your future spouse's ideas about saving and investing is key to your future.
For example, if you're a saver and he is a spender, you want to know that upfront to determine how to meet in the middle. You can ask how many savings accounts your partner has or get deeper into your money talk to really learn how they handle their day-to-day finances.
Do we have enough savings to create an emergency fund, or do we need to save more?
Do you have life insurance, or do you plan to purchase it?
Do you see us buying a house when we get married or renting?
Do you believe in saving for a college education?
Financial Roles and Decision-Making
One partner often takes control of a couple's financial life, but that doesn't mean the other partner can't participate.
Discussing upfront how you plan to handle the financial roles, who will be in charge of decision-making, and when both parties should be involved in the decisions is essential.
Do you prefer separate or joint accounts?
Do you want to combine finances fully, or will you keep some separate?
Do you need to control the money, or will you share the duty?
How do you see us making money decisions?
What do you plan to do if we run into money problems?
How will we set financial boundaries?
Would you help a friend or family member in financial need?
How would you handle it if you got into a bad financial situation?
FAQs
Should Couples Disclose Their Debts Before Marriage?
There isn't a rule stating couples must disclose their debts before marriage, but it's a good idea to share, especially if you have many credit cards with large balances. Figuring out how to ask your future spouse about their debt is extremely important.
What Are Common Financial Pitfalls for Newly Married Couples?
Newly married couples often struggle with budgeting, discussing money, and their financial future.
Whether it feels uncomfortable, you worry that your partner will be upset about the amount of debt you carry or your lack of income, or you just don't know how to talk about money, it's one of the most important things you can do for your relationship.
How To Talk About Finances Before Marriage?
Talking about finances before marriage can feel intimidating, but take it slow. Set a time for a money date so you and your partner know you will talk about money.
Think about the most important question you want answered, and your partner should do the same. After starting the conversation, you'll likely find that it's much easier to talk about money and that it creates a solid bond between you and your partner.
How To Prepare for Marriage Financially?
Every couple prepares for the financial aspect of marriage differently. The key is to learn each person's budgeting style and tendency to save or spend and discuss your financial goals.
Getting married is a big step, and talking about money is an important part of it. Whether you're buying your first house together, moving into a house one partner already owns, or even living with family, getting on the same page financially is key.
How To Ask Your Partner for Financial Help?
If you're struggling with your finances, being honest with your partner is okay. Don't fear that he won't like you anymore or won't want to marry you any longer. Honesty is always best, and it can help you avoid arguments about money, which is the leading cause of divorce.
Ensuring Financial Compatibility Before Marriage
Knowing the best financial questions to ask before marriage helps your marriage get off to a healthy start.
Understanding where your partner stands on finances, spending, saving, and financial goals can help guide you as a husband and wife.
If you don't see eye-to-eye and worry that it will cause marital stress, consider pre-marital financial counseling to get both partners on the same page and achieve a marriage filled with peace and harmony.
Want to level up your game around money in your relationship? My free quiz will help you learn your Couple’s Money Personality Type AND how you can grow from there!
Adam Kol is The Couples Financial Coach. He helps couples go from financial overwhelm or fighting to clarity, teamwork, and peace of mind.
Adam is a Certified Financial Therapist-I™, Certified Mediator, and Tax Attorney with a Duke Law degree and a Master's in Tax Law from NYU. He is a husband, dad, and musician, as well.
Adam's wisdom has been shared with The Wall Street Journal, the Baltimore Ravens, CNBC, NewsNation, and more.
