What Is a Financial Therapist and How Can They Help?
Consider a financial therapist if you've always wanted to see a therapist with your spouse but didn't know where to start. You'll get the best of both worlds - financial help and emotional support to help you make your marriage the best it can be.
What Is Financial Therapy?
Financial therapy combines couples therapy with financial planning. Couples can work on their money goals, work through financial issues, and discuss old money stories that may affect their finances as a couple.
It's like the best of both worlds; you get to work on your relationship with money and your spouse. You learn where one another comes from with their money management stories and learn to achieve peace and harmony in your relationship from all angles.
The Financial Therapy Association
The Financial Therapy Association began in 2010, so it's somewhat new. They certify therapists who meet specific requirements. Certified therapists help with financial planning or financial counseling with therapeutic and financial competencies. Some financial therapists were mental health professionals before and learned the financial aspect of it, which others were financial planners/professionals who learned more about the mental and emotional health side of things to bring it all together.
Foundations of Financial Therapy
Financial therapy looks different for each couple, but here are some foundations.
Combining Financial Planning and Counseling
Financial planning and counseling typically don't go hand-in-hand. Financial planners handle the financial aspect of your lives, but they don't get into the psychological reasons you have the money issues you have.
Counselors dive deep into the emotional and psychological aspects but don't get into financial information, or if they do, it's only on the surface. Financial therapy, however, combines the two so you and your spouse can understand the reasons for the financial decisions made while helping one another see eye-to-eye.
Financial therapists help partners reframe their thoughts about money, learn how to communicate better, and help each person identify and resolve any habits that harm their financial life.
1. Relationships Factors
Financial therapists consider your relationship with money and each other. We use behavioral therapy techniques to help you strengthen yourself within your relationship and then consider how it affects your financial decisions.
For example, if one spouse spends all the money, disregarding any budget, and the other saves all the money, you don't see eye-to-eye. But with the help of what mental and financial professionals could do separately, a financial therapist does that together.
2. Cognitive Factors
Some financial decisions are impulsive, and others are well thought out, even if they aren't a good idea. Financial therapists consider the cognitive factors that affect your financial decisions. For example, we may work on conflict resolution, ways to learn more about personal finance and financial planning, and how to consider each person's ideas for money management.
3. Emotional Factors
Money and emotions go hand-in-hand. According to Daniel Kahneman, Ph.D., 90% of financial decisions are emotional, and only 10% are logical. A marriage and financial therapist can help you learn to use more logic and less emotion when making financial decisions.
4. Behavioral Factors
Behavior can affect your finances, especially when one partner has a gambling, spending, or alcohol addiction. Other behaviors affecting finances include hoarding money, obsessively controlling it, or shopping to cope with depression or anxiety.
5. Financial Factors
Of course, the foundation of financial therapy is to get control of your finances. This may look many different ways depending on what you need. For some couples, it's about strategies to save more, and for others, it's a way to assign roles regarding finances to help reach your goals.
How Seeing a Financial Therapist Can Help
You might wonder how seeing a financial therapist can help. Here are some ways.
1. Overcoming Money Fears
Some people struggle with money growing up, which carries over with them into adulthood. Even if you didn't struggle with money, but your family didn't handle money well, you may carry those behaviors, financial stress, and financial anxiety into your relationship.
Identification of Emotions and Beliefs
Working with a financial therapist, you can dive into your money stories, uncover the feelings you might not realize you harbor, and work to overcome them. You may have emotions and beliefs you didn't know you had, and once uncovered, you can work through them.
2. Navigate Between Culture and Finances
A financial therapist can help you, and your spouse see any differences you have when it comes to culture and finances. If your culture treats money differently than your spouse's, it can be hard to meet in the middle so you can have good financial health, but a financial therapist can guide you on that journey.
3. Release Financial Stressors
When seeking financial therapy, you might learn ways to release financial stressors that allow you and your spouse to have a happier marriage. In addition, you can discover what makes you feel stressed when handling your finances and what your spouse does (or doesn't do) that bothers you.
4. Baby Steps to Change Financial Habits
You can't change financial habits overnight, especially if you created them from childhood. But with baby steps, you can change them.
Teach Personal Finance Strategies - You can start by learning personal finance strategies you might not already have known. Then, whether it's financial literacy you need help with or learning new strategies, you can implement them together to reach your financial goals.
Control Unhealthy Financial Behaviors - If you or your spouse have unhealthy financial behaviors, you can start unraveling them and finding different ways to handle your finances. Like dieting, you won't see changes overnight. Instead, consistent effort and changes can help.
5. Envision and Plan for Retirement
A financial therapist can help you think about and plan for retirement. Whether you're in your 20s or 50s, retirement planning is essential. The more time your money has to compound, the more it will grow and help you reach your retirement goals.
6. Support in Financial Planning
Financial planning is the key to reaching financial security. A financial therapist can help you and your spouse with various activities to support you in achieving your goals.
Budget Support - If you have a budget, but it's not quite working, a financial therapist can help you revamp it. The budget may only need a few tweaks, or it may need a complete overhaul. Either way, you could have support creating a more effective budget.
Consider Various Investment Forms (Passive & Active) - A financial therapist can help you learn about investment options, including passive and active investments. The more diversified your portfolio is, the easier it may be to reach your financial goals.
7. Solve Family Issues Created by Money
Money and family sometimes don't go hand-in-hand, at least not smoothly. When money creates family issues, you sometimes need someone to step in and help.
A financial therapist can be a neutral third party, helping you understand each other's views and what needs to be done to reach your financial goals while making both parties feel seen and heard.
8. Regain Control of Financial Trauma
If you or your spouse have had financial traumas in your life, a financial therapist can help you overcome them. You can learn to understand the issues that they cause, what behaviors they make you have, and learn to overcome them.
Who Should See a Financial Therapist?
There doesn't have to be anything wrong to see a financial therapist. Healthy couples often seek financial therapy to improve their financial situation and get on the same page. But, of course, if you and your partner don't see eye-to-eye or you're having financial and marital trouble, a financial therapist may help.
Choosing a Certified Financial Therapist
Choosing a financial therapist is a personal decision. But, like choosing a behavioral therapy counselor, you want someone you connect with who understands you. Work with someone that openly listens to both parties and guides you to a place where you're both happy with your financial situation.
Difference Between Financial Therapy and Other Therapy Types
Financial therapy differs from many others because it strongly considers your finances. Most other therapies focus on your emotions and cognitive thinking, whereas financial therapy does that while also addressing your finances.
FAQs
How Do You Know It's Time to Hire a Financial Therapist?
There isn't a right or wrong time to hire a financial therapist, but if you notice you and your partner have financial difficulties or constantly argue about money, it might be time. You may also consider it if you worry that your spouse controls the money or you think your spouse has a problem with money management.
Where Do You Find Financial Therapy?
Do a quick search online, and you'll find many financial therapists. Make sure the therapist you choose is a certified financial therapist and works well with your personality, listening to you and your spouse and helping you reach your goals.
Is Doing Financial Therapy Worth It in the Long Run?
Financial therapy can help you reach financial teamwork, clarity, peace of mind, and financial security. If you're open about your financial goals and listen to the suggestions in your sessions, you and your spouse can reach both short and long-term goals.
Can My Financial Advisor or financial Planner Also Be My Financial Therapist?
Financial advisors or planners can become financial therapists, so it's quite possible anyone you work with is or was a financial advisor at one point.
How Does Someone Become a Financial Therapist Focusing on Financial Couples Counseling?
To be a financial therapist, you need a strong foundation in financial advising or planning. It also helps if you have experience mediating, counseling, or helping people with their concerns. It's not required, but becoming a certified financial therapist can help even more.
Are There Signs That Therapy Is Working?
Financial therapy won't work overnight. It takes diligent effort over weeks or months, but some signs that it is working include:
You notice better money management
You have more money in savings
Your debt is decreasing
You reached one or more financial goals
Seeing a Financial Therapist- The Bottom Line
Seeing a financial therapist can be one of the best decisions for your marriage. You'll get financial support and also have the emotional support to strengthen your marriage. In addition, you'll come out of financial therapy with financial clarity and peace of mind.
Want to level up your game around money in your relationship? My free quiz will help you learn your Couple’s Money Personality Type AND how you can grow from there!
Adam Kol is The Couples Financial Coach. He helps couples go from financial overwhelm or fighting to clarity, teamwork, and peace of mind.
Adam is a Certified Financial Therapist-I™, Certified Mediator, and Tax Attorney with a Duke Law degree and a Master's in Tax Law from NYU. He is a husband, dad, and musician, as well.
Adam's wisdom has been shared with The Wall Street Journal, the Baltimore Ravens, CNBC, NewsNation, and more.
