Financial Planning for Newly Married Couples: 5 Smart Tips
Financial planning for newly married couples might feel like a boring topic compared to all of the wedding excitement, but it can actually be a very romantic thing to do.
Discussions about money might feel uncomfortable at first, but they form the foundation of a stable marriage and help prevent future conflicts.
In other words, having open and honest conversations about your financial life with your new spouse is arguably the best thing you can do to build a healthy, fulfilling, and stress-free relationship.
Here are 5 important tips on creating a strong financial strategy for a newly married couple.
When Should a Couple Start Talking About Finances?
Ideally, before saying "I do"!
Financial conversations should begin during engagement and continue throughout your marriage. These early discussions set expectations and help you create a shared understanding of your financial future.
Money conflicts often start small. One partner might have $50,000 in student loans while the other has none. Or one saves 30% of their paycheck while the other spends freely.
Talking about these differences before marriage lets you tackle them head-on instead of letting them devolve into bigger issues later.
Here's what early financial planning does for your marriage:
Shows you the full picture: It's important to share your exact numbers with your partner - your credit score, student loan balance, credit card debt, and savings. No surprises means no betrayal of trust six months into marriage when you discover your spouse has maxed out three credit cards.
Helps you reach your financial goals: Maybe you want to quit your job and start a food truck business in three years, and your partner dreams of a $30,000 down payment on a house. Knowing this now helps you figure out if you can do both - and how.
Prevents money fights: Talk through the practical stuff now. Will you share a checking account? Who pays which bills? What's the spending limit before you need to consult each other - $100? $500? Set these rules early instead of arguing about them later.
There are many financial benefits to a marriage, but if you want to take full advantage of them, it's important to start talking about your finances as early as possible.
How Do You Split Finances After Marriage?
Marriage in the US has changed a lot in the last 50 years, especially when it comes to money.
Husbands are still the primary earners in 55% of opposite-sex marriages, but the share of women who now earn as much as or more than their husbands has tripled. 29% of married couples today earn roughly equal salaries, and in 16% of marriages, the wife is the primary breadwinner.
These shifting dynamics mean that there's no one-size-fits-all approach to managing money in a marriage.
Some couples pool everything into joint accounts. Others keep separate accounts and split bills 50/50. You can also use a hybrid system - joint accounts for shared expenses like mortgage and groceries, and separate accounts for personal spending.
Whatever strategy you choose, both partners need equal access to financial information and an equal say in major money decisions.
Learn more about financial transparency in marriage.
5 Tips for Financial Planning for Newly Married Couples
1. Set Financial Goals
Money without a mission = aimless spending.
Sit down with your spouse and map out what matters most to both of you. Think about your long-term financial goals, such as buying a house, leaving your 9-5 to start a business, or growing your family.
It's helpful to break your goals into clear targets. For example:
Right now you want to build three months of expenses in savings ($12,000) and cut takeout spending to $200/month.
This year you want to pay off the smaller credit card ($3,500) and open a high-yield savings account for a house down payment.
In the next 2-3 years you want to save $60,000 for a house down payment and start contributing 10% to your o retirement accounts.
In the next 5-10 years you want to launch a business ($25,000 startup costs) and increase retirement contributions to 20%.
Long-term you want to pay off your house by age 55 and build a retirement portfolio that generates $8,000 monthly income.
These goals are just examples so try to get as specific as you can for your own unique situation. Your goal shouldn't just be "saving money" with no purpose!
Learn more about how much a couple needs to retire comfortably.
2. Create a System
A clear financial system will help you run your household finances much more smoothly.
Here's how to build one:
List your bank accounts and debts, noting interest rates and monthly payments
Track your income and bills - you can create a shared calendar marking paydays and due dates.
Set up autopay for fixed bills like mortgage, utilities, health insurance, life insurance policies, etc.
Build a realistic budget - this can be a simple spreadsheet or a budgeting app.
Most importantly, figure out how you're going to divide financial responsibilities. There's no right or wrong way. You can combine your finances completely, split everything 50/50, or contribute a proportional percentage of your income.
The most important thing is to be transparent and make joint financial decisions.
3. Talk About Your Spending Habits
If you're a saver who packs their own lunch and drives a 10-year-old Honda while your husband orders DoorDash three times a week and just financed a new Tesla, you have things to talk about.
Neither of you is wrong, but this gap in spending habits will cause fights unless you address it head-on.
Pull up your bank statements and credit card bills and look at how much you each spend on dining out, shopping, entertainment, and other flexible expenses.
Then spot areas that are causing problems for your finances.
If your spouse's $150 weekly takeout habit isn't wrecking your joint checking account, then maybe they can just keep doing what makes them happy. But if their $800 car payment is preventing you from building an emergency fund, that's a problem you need to solve together.
Ask each other these financial questions to align your spending habits.
4. Discuss Retirement
Start talking about retirement early!
If you both have 401(k)s, max them out or at least hit the employer match. Open Roth IRAs if you qualify and consider real estate investments. You can run the numbers through a retirement calculator together and adjust your current lifestyle to hit your target savings.
5. Learn to Talk About Money
40% of millennial couples argue about money at least once a week. So, one of the most important skills you'll develop as new spouses is to learn how to talk about money openly, honestly, and without fighting.
The more you talk about your financial situation and financial habits, the more on the same page you're going to get. You can set up weekly or monthly reviews and celebrate how close you're getting to your goals!
So, How Should Newly Married Couples Deal with Their Finances?
There's no perfect system for managing money in marriage, what matters is finding an approach that fits your specific situation.
For example, a couple with uneven incomes might split expenses proportionally, with the $85,000 earner contributing 65% to joint expenses and the $45,000 earner adding 35%.
Other couples might keep everything in shared accounts or keep a set amount monthly for personal spending.
For couples with variable income, like a business owner married to someone with a steady salary, splitting bills based on monthly earnings can often work well.
As The Couples Financial Coach, I help couples in all kinds of financial situations to achieve financial clarity, fairness, teamwork, and peace of mind.
Book a free consultation with me to get started!
FAQs
How Much Should a Wife Contribute Financially?
Financial contributions in a marriage have nothing to do with gender and everything with capability and circumstances. In 45% of marriages today, husbands are not the primary breadwinners, and wives earn as much as or more than them. At the same time, some wives manage households and children, providing necessary yet unpaid labor.
Instead of arguing about who "should" contribute what, focus on both contributing 100% to your marriage.
How Many Bank Accounts Should a Married Couple Have?
No one set number works for every married couple, but you could try having one joint account for shared expenses like mortgage and utilities, and two individual accounts for personal spending. You can also keep all of your accounts joint or all of them separate. You also should have investment accounts. Overall, you should have as many bank accounts as it makes sense for how you're managing finances in your household.
Is It Normal for Married Couples to Keep Finances Separate?
Yes, and it's typically more common with younger couples. Separate accounts don't mean separate lives, and some couples successfully keep their individual accounts while jointly managing household expenses and saving for shared goals. Financial transparency matters more than whether you combine finances or not.
Should a Marriage Be 50/50 Financially?
50/50 relationships sound good in theory, but equal doesn't always mean fair. A 50/50 split works when incomes are similar, but can strain relationships when they're not. For example, a couple earning $60,000 and $120,000 might benefit from the higher earner contributing more so that the lower earner can have some disposable income.
What Is Financial Infidelity in a Marriage?
Financial infidelity means hiding money decisions from your spouse. For example, it can mean having a secret credit card with $7,000 in debt, a hidden savings account with $15,000, or lying about the cost of purchases. Financial infidelity breaks trust just like any other form of cheating, not to mention it can create serious financial problems for your family.
Master Your Communication to Reach Your Financial Goals
Money fights happen when couples avoid tough conversations. You don't need to agree on everything when it comes to spending and saving, but you do need to understand each other's perspective and work as a team.
Book a FREE financial consultation with me to start getting on the same financial page with your new spouse!
Want to level up your game around money in your relationship? My free quiz will help you learn your Couple’s Money Personality Type AND how you can grow from there!
Adam Kol is The Couples Financial Coach. He helps couples go from financial overwhelm or fighting to clarity, teamwork, and peace of mind.
Adam is a Certified Financial Therapist™, Certified Mediator, and Tax Attorney with a Duke Law degree and a Master's in Tax Law from NYU. He is a husband, dad, and musician, as well.
Adam's wisdom has been shared with The Wall Street Journal, the Baltimore Ravens, CNBC, NewsNation, and more.
