Buying a House Before Marriage: Should You Do It?
So, you and your partner are thinking about buying a house before marriage, and you're wondering if it's a good idea. You're not alone – more couples than ever are choosing to become homeowners before becoming spouses.
Maybe you've happened to find your dream home, or perhaps renting just doesn't make financial sense anymore. Whatever your reasons, this is a huge decision that merges your finances in ways that can be more binding than marriage itself.
So, naturally, there's a lot to consider, and while buying a house before marriage can be a smart move for some couples, it's not right for everyone.
As The Couples Financial Coach, I'll share the pros and cons you need to consider before buying a house together before marriage in this article.
Pros of Buying a House Before Marriage
In 2022, 65.8% of Americans owned their home.
Many couples find that buying before marriage can set them up for stronger financial success – if they approach it thoughtfully. In fact, unmarried couples buying a house together now account for 18% of all first-time homebuyers.
Start Building Equity Sooner: Instead of paying rent while planning your wedding, you could be building equity in a home. That money goes toward your future rather than your landlord's pocket.
Save Money on Rent: When you combine households and split a monthly mortgage payment, you might find yourself paying less than you would for two separate rentals. Even if you were renting together before, your mortgage might be less expensive than rent.
Split Household Responsibilities and Expenses: Owning a house together creates a natural framework for dividing bills, maintenance costs, and household duties like cleaning. This can save you money and time.
As The Couples Financial Coach, I've sometimes seen couples treat buying a house together before marriage as a way to test financial compatibility. I don't recommend doing that.
There are so many other ways to evaluate your money habits and communication styles that don't involve a 30-year commitment. One of them is asking each other these financial questions before marriage.
Cons of Buying a House Together Before Marriage
Buying a house before marriage can work beautifully for some couples, but it comes with significant risks that you need to understand. Without the legal protections of marriage, you'll need to be extra careful about protecting both partners' interests.
Financial Entanglement: A mortgage is a major financial commitment that's much harder to handle than shared rent. Regardless of your marital status, you're now tied to each other for 25-30 years. Regardless of your marital status, if one partner loses their job or wants to move for a career opportunity, you're both still tied to that mortgage payment.
Lost Tax Benefits: Unmarried couples miss out on certain tax advantages that married couples enjoy, such as mortgage interest deduction and property taxes deduction. Learn more about the financial benefits of marriage.
No Legal Protection If Your Relationship Doesn't Last: Unlike divorce, where there are clear legal frameworks for dividing property, unmarried couples have fewer protections. Breaking up with a mortgage is messier than breaking up with just a lease.
Potentially Challenging Relationship Dynamics: Living together as homeowners brings new stresses about maintenance, renovations, and bill-splitting. Without clear agreements, you might find yourselves arguing about who pays for a new roof or how to split utility costs.
Can Lead to Resentment and an Unfair Financial Situation: If only one partner is on the deed but both are paying the mortgage (sole ownership), it can create an unbalanced power dynamic. The partner not on the deed might feel vulnerable or worry about building equity.
Estate Planning Complications: If something happens to one partner, the house doesn't automatically go to the other like it would in marriage. You'll need additional legal documents to protect each other's interests.
These challenges don't mean you shouldn't buy a house before marriage – but they do mean that you need solid legal protection and clear communication about your expectations for each other. Learn more about how unmarried couples should share finances.
If you need help getting on the same page before your home purchase, schedule a free consultation with The Couples Financial Coach!
Buying a House Before Marriage: Legal Implications
When you're married, the law provides clear guidelines about property ownership and division. But for unmarried couples, things get trickier. Without the legal framework of marriage, you'll need to create your own protections.
The way you title the property matters more than you might think. You can own it as "joint tenants with rights of survivorship" (where if one person dies, the other automatically gets full ownership), "tenants in common" (where each owns a specific percentage and can sell or will their portion), or put it in one person's name entirely.
Each option has different implications for ownership rights, taxes, and what happens if someone dies. I highly recommend working with a qualified attorney to figure out the best course of action for you.
How to Make Buying a House Before Marriage Work
Making buying a house before marriage work essentially comes down to 3 important things: managing finances, determining ownership, and planning for all kinds of different scenarios.
Get Crystal Clear About Your Finances: Have honest conversations about income, debt, and credit scores. Decide how you'll split the down payment, mortgage payments, maintenance costs, and unexpected repairs.
Decide Who Will Hold Title: Work with an attorney to understand your options. If one person contributes more to the down payment, you might want to reflect that in the ownership percentages. Or maybe you want equal ownership despite unequal contributions. There's no right answer, but you need to make this decision consciously.
Plan for Everything: Even scenarios you'd rather not think about. Create agreements for what happens if you break up, how to handle job losses or income changes, who can buy out whom and under what terms, what happens if one person dies, how to handle major repairs or renovations, and the process for potentially selling the house.
These conversations might feel uncomfortable, but they're far less uncomfortable than trying to figure these things out during a crisis. Learn more about budgeting for couples.
Creating a Cohabitation Agreement
I always recommend the couples that I work with to create a cohabitation agreement. It's practically a roadmap for handling all of the "what-ifs" that come with joint homeownership. This legal document protects both your relationship and your investment.
This agreement can address the possible scenarios that may arise in the future.
For example, you might want to rent out the spare bedroom for extra income while your partner wants to keep it as a home office. Or, your partner might see the house as an investment property and want to rent it out, but you want to keep living there.
Make sure your agreement addresses even the worst-case scenarios, such as separation or death. An attorney can help you draft this document.
So, Is It Smart to Buy a House Together Before Marriage?
The answer depends entirely on your specific situation.
Buying before marriage can work well with open communication about finances and a detailed cohabitation agreement. But rushing into homeownership because it seems like the next logical step or because you're tired of paying rent isn't the best idea.
A house should strengthen your relationship, not become a financial burden and a source of stress and conflict.
FAQs
How to Protect Yourself When Buying a House with a Partner?
One of the best ways is to create a solid cohabitation agreement and work with an attorney to properly structure the property title. You should also do your best to communicate as clearly as possible about your financial expectations and responsibilities. Depending on how you split your finances, you can also open a dedicated bank account for house-related expenses that you both contribute to.
Is Getting Married Financially Beneficial?
There are a few financial benefits to marriage, including tax implications, easier estate planning, and legal protections for property division. Married couples may be more likely to qualify for better insurance rates, can file taxes jointly, and have automatic inheritance rights. But buying a house before marriage can also be a financially sound decision when done right and with the help of a qualified attorney.
Is It Hard to Buy a House If You’re Not Married?
Unmarried couples can absolutely qualify for mortgages, but they may face additional scrutiny from lenders. You might need to provide extra documentation about how you'll handle payments, and the situation can get trickier if one of you has a lower income or poor credit.
What Happens If I Own a House and Then Get Married?
Property that you own before marriage typically remains separate property, but the situation can become complicated if your spouse contributes to mortgage payments or home improvements after marriage. It also depends on state laws. Consider discussing it with your attorney.
Is a Prenup a Good Idea?
A prenup can be a good idea for some couples, especially when one partner owns a home before marriage. It outlines how the property will be handled during marriage and in case of divorce so that both of your interests are protected.
Get on the Same Financial Page with Your Partner
The decision to buy a house together before marriage requires honest conversations about money, expectations, and long-term goals.
If you need help getting on the same page with your partner, The Couples Financial Coach can help you navigate these discussions and create a solid plan that works for both of you.
Schedule a free consultation with me today!
Want to level up your game around money in your relationship? My free quiz will help you learn your Couple’s Money Personality Type AND how you can grow from there!
Adam Kol is The Couples Financial Coach. He helps couples go from financial overwhelm or fighting to clarity, teamwork, and peace of mind.
Adam is a Certified Financial Therapist™, Certified Mediator, and Tax Attorney with a Duke Law degree and a Master's in Tax Law from NYU. He is a husband, dad, and musician, as well.
Adam's wisdom has been shared with The Wall Street Journal, the Baltimore Ravens, CNBC, NewsNation, and more.
