How to Secretly Save Money From Spouse: 10 Legal Ways
Knowing how to secretly save money from a spouse may feel wrong, and in many cases, it is.
However, there may be a time and place that you must do it, and if you do it right, it shouldn't risk your marriage or family finances.
Is It Okay to Hide Money From Your Spouse?
Hiding money from your spouse is okay in certain situations, but overall, being open and honest with your spouse is a good idea.
It's best to be on the same page with your finances so you both understand how much money you have, how much you should save, and what is available for spending.
However, there are some situations that warrant 'hiding money' from your spouse.
Ethical Reasons for Wanting to Secretly Save Money From Your Spouse
Keep in mind that I typically encourage my clients to avoid hiding assets or money. Hiding cash only leads to suspicious feelings and concern that other unpleasant activities are occurring that would negatively affect your marriage.
However, there are a few reasons a spouse may hide money.
Surprise Gifts
Everyone loves surprising their loved ones. If you have joint accounts, planning a big surprise for a spouse is nearly impossible. Some spouses may have a secret cash stash to pay for things like holiday gifts or surprise their loved one with something special.
Reckless Spending
Reckless spending isn't something I promote, but it could be a reason to hide assets. A spouse who is an impulse spender may overspend and drain the joint accounts to a point where you cannot meet financial goals.
I highly encourage anyone in this situation to get professional help, but it can explain why you may need to save money in secret so the money is 'out of sight, out of mind.'
Personal Savings Account
Some people just need to have their own savings account to make themselves feel whole. For some, it provides peace of mind to know they have money set aside should an emergency occur.
Others need it because they know their spouse doesn't save enough money or they don't approve of their spouse's habit of spending money.
How to Secretly Save Money From Spouse: 10 Legal Ways
We always encourage couples to be honest and have solid communication with their spouse about all finances, including bank accounts, investments, spending habits, and financial goals.
If you're in a situation where you feel hiding money is necessary, here are the best ways to hide money legally.
*Note: This article provides general information which is not a substitute for legal advice. For specific, individualized legal advice, please consult a qualified attorney.
1. Open a Separate Bank Account
If you and your spouse have a joint account, it's okay to ask to have a separate or secret bank account. The key is to only put money in a separate account that your spouse knows you're taking.
For example, if you create a budget that allows each partner to spend a certain amount of money or use how they see fit, that money is acceptable to fund the separate bank account.
2. Not Disclose Cash Income
If you work side hustles or receive tips, you may earn some cash. The best practice is to disclose this income, including it as a part of your regular income, but that's not always the case.
Some partners use their cash income as 'their money' or ‘personal funds’ to use as they want. As long as this doesn't include committing any type of financial infidelity or doing anything your spouse wouldn't approve of, you can keep the cash in a secret account.
3. Automate Transfers to Your Personal Account
If you and your spouse worked out a budget that includes money you can spend how you want, you might consider setting up automatic transfers to your personal account so you always have funds available for expenses that may not fit into your regular budget.
4. Make Use of Cash-Back and Rewards Programs
When you're shopping for groceries or regular household items, consider taking cash out at the register to hide money from your spouse legally.
To fly under the radar, keep your cashback options low, like $10 to $20, so it doesn't raise any red flags when your spouse sees the financial transaction on bank statements.
You can always use rewards programs that pay cash back when you shop. This is another simple way to get extra money without taking money from your joint accounts or raising any red flags.
Most cash-back apps, like Swagbucks, allow you to redeem your points or cash back for gift cards or a bank deposit.
5. Set Up an Individual Retirement Account
If you're worried about your finances during retirement, set up an IRA or contribute to your company's 401K. This money is yours for retirement, and should something happen to the marriage before then, you'll have funds set aside to protect yourself financially.
Keep in mind that your spouse will know about this account because you must file it on your taxes, but it's a good way to feel independent and know you're protected.
6. Invest in Stocks or Mutual Funds Under Your Name Only
Sharing investment goals and ideas with your spouse is always the best choice, but if you're worried about your spouse's habits, you may consider investing individually.
This way, the account is in your name only, and your spouse can't withdraw from the balance or make any changes.
7. Create a Side Business With Separate Finances
If you have skills you can turn into a side hustle, consider starting and financing the business with money only you know about, such as a separate bank account. You can grow your funds by investing in a business and earning profits.
Again, it's a good idea to tell your spouse about the business, but you can clarify that you're keeping the funds separate and aren't combining them with the family finances.
8. Have an Emergency Fund in Your Name Only
An emergency fund is like a fire extinguisher; you only break the glass in an emergency. Having funds in a separate account ensures you have the money to cover bills and other necessary expenses if you lose your job, fall ill, or have another crisis that warrants using emergency funds.
9. Cut Back on Joint Expenses Without Raising Suspicion
Proper budgeting is the key to reaching your financial goals individually and as a couple. When you cut back on joint expenses, you can do so in your family's best interest.
In your mind, you can do this to increase the 'extra funds' you have and can split with your spouse to keep in your secret account.
10. Rent a Safe Deposit Box
A safe deposit box is a good place to keep valuables and other assets you don't want sitting around the house. Some people also use it to stash cash they don't want their spouse to know about.
This can be a good idea if you're worried about separating from your spouse and needing a divorce attorney or want a secret divorce fund.
How To Manage Separate Finances Without Creating Trust Issues
Keeping separate funds can quickly create trust issues and lead to divorce proceedings, even if you did so for valid reasons. To avoid this, consider the following when learning how to secretly save money from your spouse.
Be honest: It's okay to tell your spouse you have a separate bank account. This way, you tell the truth, but your spouse legally can't touch it. You can explain why you have it and ensure none of the money came from your spouse's income.
Budget together: Create a budget with your spouse and set boundaries for how each can spend their money. You may come to the agreement that either spouse can have a separate savings or checking account and fund it with the funds you allocated to each partner.
Enlist professional help: Don't be afraid to get professional help when creating your financial plan or discussing your separate accounts with your spouse. A financial counselor can help you learn how to talk to your spouse about money and help both partners understand how to manage their money so they can have some financial independence.
What Happens if You’re Caught Hiding Money?
Nothing legal happens if you're caught hiding money when you're still married. You might lose your spouse's trust or have arguments, but you won't face legal consequences.
The opposite is true if your spouse finds out about the hidden assets during divorce proceedings. You are obligated to disclose all assets during a divorce. If you don't, the judge may side with your ex-spouse and award him/her a larger amount of the marital assets.
Is Secretly Saving Money From Your Spouse Financial Infidelity?
There is a fine line between saving money for surprises or goodwill and financial infidelity. Again, the key is open and honest communication with your spouse. You don't have to disclose the exact reasons you need the funds or even share how much you have, but honesty is key.
Alternatives To Saving Money Secretly
Here are some alternatives to try instead of saving money in secret:
Set limits: You and your spouse could have a set dollar amount each person can take/spend and use how they want. This keeps both partners on the same page while allowing some independence.
Couples therapy: Consider couples therapy so you don't feel like you must hide money from your spouse. You'll learn better communication skills and discover why your spouse may withhold money from you or be suspicious if you have your own money.
FAQs
Can I Secretly Save for a Surprise Without Jeopardizing Our Financial Stability?
You can secretly save for a surprise without putting your finances in jeopardy. Consider saving any 'free money' you have to spend or using cashback apps to earn money on the side. This way, you don't use your family finances, but you can still surprise your spouse.
Can Secret Savings Impact Joint Financial Goals?
When secret savings are done right, they shouldn't affect your financial goals because you aren't taking money from any accounts you and your spouse use for joint goals.
How Can I Communicate My Financial Goals Without Revealing My Secret Savings?
Tell your spouse about your financial goals and that you plan to achieve them. You don't have to disclose account numbers or give him/her access to your separate accounts. The key is being honest with one another about how you'll achieve your goals.
Is It Illegal To Hide Money From Your Spouse?
It's not illegal to hide money from your spouse in a marriage. However, if you file for divorce, it is illegal to have any hidden assets.
Is Financial Infidelity Grounds for Divorce?
Financial infidelity can cause marital and financial issues, but it doesn't have to be grounds for divorce. With professional help, you and your spouse may find a way to work through the challenges.
How To Hide Money Before a Divorce?
It's never a good idea to hide money before a divorce. You swear under legal oath that you have disclosed everything, and if the judge discovers hidden assets, it could cause more challenges in your divorce.
You Don't Need to Save Money in Secret
Even though you can learn how to secretly save money from your spouse, it doesn't mean you should.
A marriage with open communication, honesty, and professional support can be healthy and happy. This doesn't mean you must disclose every penny you make or spend, but working together to reach financial harmony is key.
If you and your spouse feel you need to hide money from one another, consider setting up a consultation with me to see how we can get you back on the same page.
Want to level up your game around money in your relationship? My free quiz will help you learn your Couple’s Money Personality Type AND how you can grow from there!
Adam Kol is The Couples Financial Coach. He helps couples go from financial overwhelm or fighting to clarity, teamwork, and peace of mind.
Adam is a Certified Financial Therapist-I™, Certified Mediator, and Tax Attorney with a Duke Law degree and a Master's in Tax Law from NYU. He is a husband, dad, and musician, as well.
Adam's wisdom has been shared with The Wall Street Journal, the Baltimore Ravens, CNBC, NewsNation, and more.
