In a Marriage, Who Should Be in Charge of the Finances?
You've said 'I do' and can't wait to start your life together, but now you wonder, in a marriage, who should be in charge of the finances?
Should one person handle everything, or should you share responsibilities?
What's right for you may not be right for another couple, and that's okay!
Who Should Be in Charge of the Finances in a Marriage?
There isn't a right or wrong answer regarding who should be in charge of financial decisions in a marriage. In a perfect world, you'd have an equal say in managing money, including saving, spending, and financial goals.
Sometimes, though, one spouse doesn't want the responsibility or pressure of handling the family finances.
Some people don't understand personal finance or would prefer to give the responsibility to the other person. Each married couple will handle bill paying and financial planning that works for them.
The Importance of Financial Management in Marriage
The most important factor is figuring out how to manage money in your marriage. It is easy to get off track without someone in charge of financial decisions.
Without a working budget, a savings plan, and decisions on which financial goals you want to reach, you won't have the money needed for future goals.
Financial decision-making can initially feel overwhelming, but working together to put each partner in charge of what they're best at is the best way to make the most of your financial situation and marriage.
Individual vs. Shared Responsibility
Depending on your relationship, you may split up money matters individually while sharing some responsibilities.
For example, if one partner has more time to pay bills, they can take that responsibility. It takes the chore off the partner's back, who has less time or a more stressful job.
However, even if one partner pays bills, you should share the responsibility of creating and tracking the budget. Even if one partner tracks the spending habits and financial goals, you should make financial decisions together.
A great way to do this is to set up money dates monthly. These dates are specifically to talk about your separate and combined finances. This ensures you're both on the same page and can have a successful marriage that allows you to meet both partners' financial goals.
Roles and Responsibilities in Financial Management
Married couples have many roles and responsibilities to consider when managing money. Dividing the goals and creating the best strategy requires you to fill the different roles of managing household finances.
Financial Planner
The financial planner is the person who doesn't only create a budget for right now but also plans for the future. All married couples need a short and long-term financial plan. It should include individual and shared goals to allocate your money appropriately.
The financial planner should track the budget, assess personal spending, and follow progress on any goals.
Bill Manager
The bill manager is responsible for paying bills monthly, ensuring enough room in the budget, and finding ways to cut back on bills whenever necessary.
The bill manager and financial planner (if different people) should communicate regularly about all financial situations to ensure enough money is allocated for all bills.
Bills can include credit card bills, student loan payments, auto loans, personal loans, housing, utilities, food, clothing, and medical needs.
Investment Specialist
The investment specialist may coincide with the financial planner. It depends on the roles you want to take.
Some partners share this responsibility because much more risk is involved in investing. The investment specialist chooses investments based on your risk tolerance, timeline, and amount of money needed.
The investment specialist must know your overall financial goals together and separately and decide how to reach those goals with different investments.
For example, if a goal is to save an emergency fund, there is a shorter timeline and lower risk tolerance than if you were saving for retirement accounts.
Financial Communicator
Both partners should take a role in communicating about their finances, but putting the responsibility on one person works in some relationships.
If you aren't good about talking about money or you prefer your partner to take control, it's what works in your marriage.
Just ensure one person is good about communicating about money management, including the good and bad sides of how you currently handle it.
Determining Who Should Be in Charge of Finances in Marriage
So, how do you decide who in a marriage should be in charge of the finances?
You can consider the factors below, but it depends on who wants to take the responsibility and who can handle the stress.
Assessing Financial Skills
If one partner has no clue about finances and doesn't want the responsibility of managing them, the answer is obvious: the other partner should take control.
If both partners are good at balancing the bank account, saving money, and not spending money they don't have, you can share the responsibilities.
Understanding Individual Interests
One partner may have a serious interest in handling the financial responsibility of the marriage. If that's the case, let that person take the reigns!
When you have a partner willing to handle the money, and you're confident that he or she will be transparent and communicative, it can take the pressure off yourself or vice versa.
Financial Upbringing
Each partner has a financial story or history they bring to the marriage. Suppose one partner grew up with no family money, and their family constantly struggled. In that case, they may have trouble allowing you to spend fun money or may want sole control over the finances to ensure you always have enough.
On the other hand, your partner may have grown up in a family where money wasn't a big deal. They spent what they wanted and didn't have to worry about talking to one another. They may have had money problems, but no one talked about it.
If that's the case, you may want to share the responsibilities so you can have an equal say in how the finances are handled and be on top of any harmful spending habits right away.
How To Divide Financial Responsibilities in a Marriage
There are a few ways you can divide financial responsibility in a marriage:
Split responsibilities 50/50: You can share the chores equally, so both partners feel like they have a say in the finances, and one partner doesn't have control.
Assign roles: You can assign specific roles, like bill payer, investor, financial planner, etc. This gives each person specific responsibilities and something to report back to the spouse.
One partner does everything: If there's reason to believe one partner can't handle the finances or doesn't want to, the other partner can take control of the finances.
Benefits of Equally Sharing Financial Responsibilities
Both partners equally invested in the financial responsibility ensures both partners are on the same page. You can make important financial decisions together, have joint financial goals, and trust one another with money.
Creating a harmonious marriage means keeping you both on the same page and feeling like you both have a say in the finances. No one is left in the dark, and no one feels like all the responsibility falls on their shoulders.
Effective Financial Management Strategies
Every marriage works differently, but here are some tips to help you effectively manage your finances in marriage:
Provide all documentation regarding all income, assets, and debts so the person responsible for creating the budget knows what they are working with.
Create a budget that allows you to spend less than you make as a household.
Get professional advice for investing to ensure you make the right household choices.
Discuss debts, including the mortgage, auto loans, or credit cards, before getting into debt to ensure you're on the same page regarding how you'll pay it off.
If you need some help implementing these strategies, schedule a consultation today!
FAQs
How Can Couples Manage Their Finances Effectively in a Marriage?
There isn't a right or wrong way for couples to manage their finances. What works for one couple may not work for another.
The key is to have accountability, decide if you'll have joint finances or separate, and assign roles so both partners can handle the shared expenses and reach your goals.
Is It Common for One Spouse To Handle All Financial Matters in a Marriage?
Some couples prefer to have one spouse handle all financial responsibility in a marriage, but it's not the best choice in all relationships.
Letting one person be in control allows opportunities for financial infidelity or leaving the other partner in the dark. Giving both partners an equal say ensures more money gets allocated toward joint goals.
Should We Have Joint Bank Accounts or Maintain Separate Accounts in Our Marriage?
Some couples have only a joint bank account, and others have separate accounts. Yet, some marriages have a combination of separate accounts and joint bank accounts.
Usually, having a joint account or a combination of joint and separate accounts is best. This allows both partners a say in financial decision-making, ensuring all expenses are paid, but allows room for financial independence.
Is It Better To Have One Person in Charge of Finances, or Should It Be a Shared Responsibility?
Marriage is about communication and harmony. Having one person in charge of finances puts a wedge in that theory.
It's best to have both partners have some level of financial responsibility, even if it's not a large role. Helping at least a little makes partners feel equal and less threatened by money.
What Are Some Common Financial Problems That Can Arise in a Marriage?
Many couples, including working couples, suffer from financial-marriage problems. This can include one partner taking complete control of the finances and financial infidelity, where one spouse spends or hides money without the other spouse knowing.
Money fights are often about how money is spent, a lack of savings accounts, or the inability to make ends meet.
The CFO of Your Household Is a Joint Decision
Marriage is about compromising and honoring one another's needs while ensuring your own needs are met.
That's why the answer to "Who should be in charge of the finances in a marriage?" is both partners, whenever possible. Of course, this isn't the case in every marriage, but if you can handle them together, it creates a feeling of togetherness and reduces the risk of arguments.
If you and your spouse can't see eye-to-eye on your finances, or you can't decide who should handle the finances, consider a consultation with a financial coach to help you make the right decision for your marriage.
Want to level up your game around money in your relationship? My free quiz will help you learn your Couple’s Money Personality Type AND how you can grow from there!
Adam Kol is The Couples Financial Coach. He helps couples go from financial overwhelm or fighting to clarity, teamwork, and peace of mind.
Adam is a Certified Financial Therapist-I™, Certified Mediator, and Tax Attorney with a Duke Law degree and a Master's in Tax Law from NYU. He is a husband, dad, and musician, as well.
Adam's wisdom has been shared with The Wall Street Journal, the Baltimore Ravens, CNBC, NewsNation, and more.
