Would You Marry a Man* Who Wants a Prenup? The Real Truth
Can you get a prenup after you get married? The short answer is no - a prenuptial agreement must be signed before marriage. But you can still protect your assets and outline financial responsibilities through a postnuptial agreement.
Here's everything you need to know about getting a postnuptial agreement after marriage and what it might mean for your dynamics as a couple.
What Is a Prenup?
A prenuptial agreement is a legal contract that you sign before marriage. It outlines how you'll handle assets, debts, and financial responsibilities during marriage and in case of divorce.
Most prenups cover basic things like who owns what marital assets, who gets family inheritance, and how to split retirement savings. They can also protect your business, set rules about spousal support, and make sure kids from previous marriages get their inheritance.
You can't include child custody agreements in your prenup.
Prenups can make sense for couples if you own a business, expect to get a significant inheritance, have kids from another marriage, or want to keep certain properties separate.
Many couples put off getting a prenup because it feels uncomfortable - like you're assuming the marriage will fail or don't trust each other. But having these money talks early on can actually make your relationship stronger and improve financial transparency in marriage.
Can You Get a Prenup After Marriage?
Once you're married, you've missed the window for a prenup. But the good news is that you still have options for protecting your separate property using a postnuptial agreement.
More than half of engaged Americans (54%) don't agree with their partner on financial goals, and 67% struggle to have serious financial conversations with their fiancé or fiancée.
Naturally, these issues don't go away after marriage - they likely get worse as couples try to figure out how to combine their finances. So, a postnup can be a good way to establish clear financial boundaries and expectations in your marriage.
What Is a Postnup?
A postnuptial agreement is a legally binding document you create after marriage. Like a prenup, it outlines how you'll handle assets and finances, but you sign it when you're already married.
Here are common financial circumstances that make couples want to get a postnup:
Starting a business and wanting to keep it separate from marital assets
Receiving an unexpected inheritance and needing clear rules about how it's handled
Getting back together after separation and setting new financial ground rules
Protecting assets for children from previous marriages
Making major career changes, like one spouse leaving work to raise children
As many as 43% of first marriages can fail over 10 years, and more often than not, the separation reasons are related to finances.
Prenups and postnups can feel like you're planning for separation, but they can actually make separation less likely because you're asking your partner important financial questions and getting on the same page.
Is a Postnup As Good As a Prenup?
Both a prenup and a postnup are legally enforceable documents, but postnups can face more legal scrutiny. Courts sometimes look at them with extra caution because married couples may have unequal bargaining power when they sign.
For example, if one spouse becomes the sole earner and asks their stay-at-home partner to sign a postnup that limits financial support in case of divorce, courts might question if the dependent spouse felt truly free to say no.
If both you and your spouse have legitimate power, then a postnup will likely hold up in court.
Learn what to do when your husband doesn't share money with you.
Difference Between a Prenup and Postnup
The main prenup vs postnup difference is the timing.
Prenups happen before marriage, and postnups happen after. This matters because married couples already have legal rights to certain assets when they sign a postnuptial agreement.
Prenups start with clear separate property, and a postnup has to untangle assets acquired or mixed during marriage. This means that one spouse will likely have to give up certain rights they already have. So, the emotional cost of a postnup can be higher.
Things to Consider Before Getting a Postnuptial Agreement
To sign a postnup, both spouses have to disclose their complete financial situation, including bank accounts, retirement funds, and property. Then, each spouse works with their own attorney to understand their rights and draft an agreement that protects both parties' interests.
Once there's a draft, both sides negotiate until they reach terms they're comfortable with. Make sure your agreement benefits both parties in some way - otherwise, it won't hold up in court.
This process sounds simple, but in reality, many couples never actually finish it. Financial conversations are often already challenging in marriage, and negotiating a postnuptial agreement requires even deeper discussions about money, property, and what-if scenarios.
I see this all the time as The Couples Financial Coach. This is why it's a good idea to first get on the same financial page before trying to draft a postnuptial agreement.
How Long After Marriage Can You Get a Postnuptial Agreement?
There's no expiration date on when you can get a postnup. You can do it at any point that feels right, but timing does matter for how strong your agreement will be.
The best time to create a postnup is when your marriage is solid and you're both thinking clearly. If you try to create one during rough patches or right after a separation, courts might question if both of you really wanted to sign it.
Can You Cancel a Postnuptial Agreement?
Yes, you can cancel or modify a postnup, but both you and your spouse must agree to the changes. If you want to cancel your agreement, you'll need to create a new document that specifically revokes the old one. You can't unilaterally cancel a valid postnup.
So, Is a Postnup a Good Idea?
A postnup can be a great idea in the right situation, but it's not for everyone. It works well when you both have clear financial goals and are willing to have honest conversations about money.
If you're starting a new business and want to keep it separate from marital assets, are expecting a big inheritance, or have a blended family with children from previous relationships, a postnup can be helpful.
That said, it's not a band-aid for deeper relationship issues. If the reason you want to get a postnuptial agreement is that you can't agree with your spouse on how to handle your finances, you should get on the same financial page first.
Book a free consultation with me to get started!
FAQs
Do Postnups Hold Up in Court?
So, are postnups enforceable? The short answer is yes, postnups hold up in court when they're properly executed. This means that both you and your spouse had independent legal counsel (your own lawyers), there was a full disclosure of assets, and neither person felt pressured to sign. Courts will look closely at whether your agreement was and remains fair during asset division.
Can I Write My Own Postnup?
You technically can write your own postnup, but it's not recommended. DIY postnups can easily miss important legal requirements or include provisions that can't actually be enforced. There's a much higher chance of your DIY prenuptial agreement not holding up in court, so it's a better idea to get a lawyer to help you draft this important document.
Can a Postnuptial Agreement Protect Future Assets?
Yes, a postnup can protect future assets, but they need to be properly specified in the agreement. Vague references to "future assets" typically won't hold up in court, but you can create guidelines for specific things like expected inheritances, business growth, retirement benefits, and other assets.
Can a Postnup Prevent Alimony?
Theoreticlally, it can, but there's no simple answer to this. A postnup can limit or modify alimony rights, but it can be difficult to completely waive it in some states. Courts don't want neither spouse to rely on public assistance after the divorce, so if the agreement would leave one spouse destitute, courts may override the alimony provisions. It ultimately depends on your state, financial status, and separation agreement as a whole.
Get on the Same Financial Page with Your Partner
Whether you decide to get a postnup or not, the most important thing is having open conversations about money with your spouse.
Sometimes, postnups are helpful. Sometimes, what you ACTUALLY need is aligning your financial goals, understanding each other's concerns, and creating a stronger foundation for your marriage. Or, maybe, you need both of those things.
If you're ready to get on the same financial page with your partner, get started with a free consultation call.