Joint Wills: Are They a Good Idea for Married Couples?
You and your spouse want to make sure you're both taken care of after one of you passes away. A joint will might seem like the perfect solution – one document, one set of instructions, done and done.
But the truth is, while joint wills might sound convenient, they often create more problems than they solve. As The Couples Financial Coach, I've seen how joint wills can trap surviving spouses in outdated arrangements and trigger family conflicts. Here's everything you need to know.
What Are Joint Wills?
A joint will is a dedicated document that covers both spouses, essentially combining two wills into one. According to research, 32% of Americans have a will, but not all of them have a joint one.
It's a contract between you and your spouse about what happens to your assets after both of you pass away. Once one spouse dies, the will becomes "locked in" – the surviving spouse usually can't make changes, even if their circumstances change dramatically.
How Do Joint Wills Work?
Let's look at how a joint will play out in legal matters in real life.
Say John and Mary create a joint will. Their will typically states that when one dies, everything goes to the survivor. Then, when the second spouse dies, everything goes to their children equally. Sounds straightforward, right?
Here's where it gets tricky.
John dies first, and everything goes to Mary as planned. But five years later, Mary's situation has changed. Maybe their daughter moved in to care for her, while their son hasn't visited in years. Or perhaps Mary needs to sell the house to pay for medical care.
With a joint will, Mary's hands are tied – she typically can't update the will to reflect these new circumstances or needs, even if John would have wanted her to have that flexibility.
Learn more about financial transparency in marriage.
What Are the Benefits of a Joint Will?
At first glance, joint wills might seem to offer several advantages. But let's take a closer look at them to see if they're actually effective.
Seems Simple and Less Expensive: Creating one document instead of two might appear more straightforward, but you'll likely spend more time and money fixing problems later. Many attorneys won't even draft joint wills anymore because of their complications (plus, they're illegal in some states).
Appears to Protect the Surviving Spouse: The idea is that neither spouse can change the will after one dies, ensuring the deceased's wishes are honored. But this "protection" often backfires by preventing necessary updates to address changing life circumstances, especially if one spouse dies relatively young.
Can Guarantee Inheritance for Children: Yes, it ensures your assets eventually go to your children, but it does so by creating an inflexible arrangement that might not serve your family's best interests as situations change.
Feels Like It Can Prevent Family Disputes: The unchangeable nature of joint wills actually tends to create more family conflicts, not fewer, especially when circumstances change, and the will can't be updated to reflect new realities.
Overall, joint wills can sometimes work for married couples, but I always recommend working with a qualified, professional attorney or firm and having a strong attorney-client relationship.
You want your attorney to walk you through the entire process so that you're prepared on what to expect from the joint will and what it means for your family, relationships, and business.
Learn more about the financial benefits of marriage and how you can leverage them.
What Are the Cons of a Joint Will?
There are quite a few drawbacks to joint wills.
Inflexibility After Death: The surviving spouse typically can't modify the will, even if circumstances change dramatically. Imagine not being able to help a grandchild with college or assist an adult child going through hard times because the will is set in stone.
Outdated Quickly: Tax laws change, family situations evolve, and new grandchildren arrive – but a joint will stay frozen in time. What made sense when you wrote it might become impractical or even harmful years later.
Potential Legal Challenges: Joint wills often face more legal scrutiny and challenges than separate wills, and they may be illegal in some states.
Limited Remarriage Options: If the surviving spouse remarries, they might be unable to provide for their new spouse due to the joint will's restrictions.
Complex Probate Process: Joint wills often complicate the probate process, especially after the second death, so they're not as simple as they appear to be. This naturally comes with higher costs.
You can consider other will types or even a trust as an alternative for joint wills for married couples.
Why Are Joint Wills a Bad Idea?
In my opinion, as The Couples Financial Coach, joint wills are - generally speaking - not a good idea.
Let's imagine a married couple, Sarah and Tom, who created a joint will in 1995 when their children were young. Tom passed away in 2005, and their joint will became irrevocable.
By 2015, Sarah's circumstances had changed - a lot. Their daughter had become her full-time caregiver, and their son inherited money from his wife's family and was financially secure. Sarah wanted to leave more to their daughter, but the joint will prevent any changes to the 50-50 split.
For most families, joint wills are just way too inflexible.
What Is the Difference Between a Joint Will and a Mirror Will?
Mirror wills are separate documents with matching provisions. Each spouse has their own will, but they mirror each other's wishes. After one spouse dies, the surviving spouse can change their will if needed.
For example, if you and your spouse have mirror wills, leaving everything to each other and then to your children, when your spouse dies, you can later update your will to include a new grandchild or adjust the distribution based on changed circumstances.
What Is the Difference Between a Joint Will and a Mutual Will?
With mutual wills, each spouse has their own separate will, plus they sign a contract agreeing not to change certain provisions after one dies. It gives you the flexibility of separate wills with some of the security of a joint will. However, mutual wills can still create problems, so they're not commonly used.
Joint Will for Married Couple: Yay or Nay?
As The Couples Financial Coach, my answer is typically a "nay," but you should consult with a qualified lawyer before making any decisions. Joint wills might seem like a loving way to ensure you and your spouse stay on the same page even after death, but they can create serious problems in the future.
Here are a few alternatives:
Create separate wills that reflect your shared wishes while maintaining flexibility for the surviving spouse
Consider a revocable living trust if you want to ensure specific assets go to certain beneficiaries
Have open conversations with your spouse and family about your wishes and update your estate plans accordingly
Your estate plan should protect your spouse, but it should also be able to adapt to life's inevitable changes. If you need help getting on the same page with your spouse about your will, schedule a free consultation with me!
FAQs
What Happens to a Joint Will When One Person Dies?
When one spouse dies, a joint will becomes irrevocable, meaning that it gets locked in stone. The surviving spouse typically can't make any changes, even if circumstances change and the wills needs to reflect them. The joint will control what you can and can't do with your assets for the rest of your life.
Can a Husband Make a Will Without His Wife?
Yes, you and your spouse can have separate wills. Each spouse has the right to create their own will without the other's involvement. However, it's always better to discuss estate planning together and be on the same page for more financial clarity and peace of mind.
Do You Need a Will If Everything Is Joint?
Yes, you still need a will even if all your assets are jointly owned. Joint ownership only determines what happens to assets when the first spouse dies. Without a will, you have no control over what happens to those assets after the surviving spouse passes away.
Can a Surviving Spouse Revoke a Joint Will?
Generally, no. Once one spouse dies, the joint will becomes binding on the surviving spouse. This is one of the biggest drawbacks of joint wills – they're practically impossible to change after the first death, even if your circumstances change or new family members enter the picture.
So, Should Married Couples Have Joint or Separate Wills? The Importance of Getting on the Same Financial Page
A survey of nearly 1,000 couples who are married, engaged, or in a relationship found nearly 75% said they had gotten mad at their partner because of a financial decision they made. It can be really hard to create a functional plan for the future when you and your spouse can't agree on how to manage your finances.
If you're ready to have productive conversations and get on the same financial page with your partner, book a free consultation with me to get started!
Want to level up your game around money in your relationship? My free quiz will help you learn your Couple’s Money Personality Type AND how you can grow from there!
Adam Kol is The Couples Financial Coach. He helps couples go from financial overwhelm or fighting to clarity, teamwork, and peace of mind.
Adam is a Certified Financial Therapist™, Certified Mediator, and Tax Attorney with a Duke Law degree and a Master's in Tax Law from NYU. He is a husband, dad, and musician, as well.
Adam's wisdom has been shared with The Wall Street Journal, the Baltimore Ravens, CNBC, NewsNation, and more.
