Financial Therapy for Couples: Do You Need It?
Like anything in life, going to therapy to work on your issues, questions, or concerns can be helpful to make you feel better about your current situation.
Suppose you are struggling with a specific facet of your life, whether it be a relationship, money troubles, or personal concerns— therapy can be the fix you need!
For those couples struggling to balance their checkbook and stop fighting about money troubles, financial therapy can help them find solutions.
Since financial troubles are often the leading cause of unhappy marriages and divorce, finding solutions before they spiral out of control can help to rekindle the spark in your relationship.
What Is Financial Therapy for Couples?
Financial therapy is a method that helps couples get on the same page when it comes to spending, saving, budgeting, and paying off accruing debt.
The most common topics addressed during financial therapy include saving and spending habits, impulsive spending, communication about money, financial planning, long-term financial goals, financial infidelity, and debt.
So the question is— what is financial counseling?
The purpose of marriage financial counseling is to help people learn the communication skills necessary to have beneficial conversations about their current monetary worries, concerns, and goals.
Instead of letting emotions get in the way and take over financial-driven conversations, financial marriage counseling can teach partners problem-solving and communication skills to improve their relationship with their other half.
Financial Therapy vs Financial Advisory vs Financial Coaching
Before you hire a money counselor/financial counselor/financial therapist to aid you and your partner with your money troubles or goals, it can help to understand how each marriage and money-related professional specializes in addressing problems.
Should you hire a financial therapist, advisor, or coach? Let's take a look at what sets them apart:
Financial Therapy
A financial therapist helps with partners' communication tactics about money.
Since debt, overspending, and money issues can be stressful for partners, a family financial counselor/financial therapist can help couples learn how to discuss their problems like compulsive spending.
They can also help couples listen to each other, create a financial plan, and have constructive conversations (not just fighting).
Financial Advisory
The purpose of financial advising is for a professional to provide expertise and advice for clients in all types of scenarios, including investments, insurance, and retirement planning.
Financial advisors are not just for someone who struggles with handling finances but for anyone who wants to learn how to make the best investment, debt, and personal finance decisions.
Financial Coaching
The purpose of a financial coach is to allow clients to find out their strengths and weaknesses regarding their finances.
This way, each client can determine how they want to change, how they can reach their long-term goals, and how they can communicate these needs with their partner to start working together.
How Does Financial Therapy for Couples Work?
For those considering attending a couple's financial counseling/financial therapy, it's helpful to understand how the process works before beginning.
Couples will attend therapy sessions together to learn how to speak to one another, change their financial outlook, and adopt new, healthy financial strategies and habits.
Long story short— financial counseling for couples works by combining financial coaching and emotional coaching to create a better partner relationship and facilitate smarter financial decisions.
Bringing a professional into the equation can identify the root of the fighting about money, communication issues, and misunderstandings that can drive negative feelings.
If you're interested in seeing what financial counseling is all about, take advantage of my hour-long complimentary consultation!
Ways To Know You Need a Financial Therapist
There are certain ways you might know that you need financial consulting for couples.
If you experience any of these signs, it can be time to go to a professional to seek help, for example from a financial therapy association or financial therapist.
Poor Mental Health
One of the first signs of needing to search for a "financial therapist near me" is a sharp decline in mental health and a positive mindset.
Debt and financial issues can cause stress, fighting, and negativity, so experiencing poor mental health coupled with financial woes isn't uncommon, but reducing debt can increase your happiness and overall relationship satisfaction.
Poor Relationship With Your Partner
Another indicator you may need a financial therapist is if you and your partner have a rocky or poor relationship.
If you are experiencing fights, aggression, sadness, and miscommunication, this can suggest that financial troubles are taking over your positive relationship.
Poor Coping Methods
If you find that daily life stressors are impacting your quality of life, and you can't seem to shake the feeling of dread or anxiousness, then this may mean that financial therapy could help.
Learning the proper coping skills through therapy can help you effectively mitigate any situation and de-escalate a negative mindset.
Lack of Productivity
Do you have trouble finding the motivation or desire to accomplish your daily tasks? The last sign that you may need to see a money therapist/financial therapist is a lack of productivity or motivation during the day.
If you previously enjoyed going to work or spending time with your partner, but these activities no longer bring you joy, it can be a red flag that money troubles are taking over your life.
Financial Abuse
If your partner is controlling the finances in a way that significantly harms you, then you may be experiencing financial abuse. You might want to reach out to a financial therapist, but there are other considerations, as well.
These resources can help:
Financial Abuse in Couples (Episode of The Couples Financial Coach Podcast)
Benefits of Financial Therapy for Couples
There are numerous benefits of financial therapy for couples that can strengthen a fractured relationship:
Mitigates arguments: Financial troubles can lead to frequent arguments and angry feelings. Learn how to mitigate the situation, defuse a fight, and avoid an argument altogether with a calm and reasonable conversation.
Happier with one another: Less fighting means more time to be happy together. Understanding how to calmly discuss finances without having a heated argument can avoid hurt feelings, leaving more time to enjoy one another's company.
Better relationship with money: Along with a strengthened relationship, you can better analyze your finances and learn how to use/save money to achieve your goals as a couple.
Improved communication: Lastly, financial therapy improves communication with your loved ones (not just your partner). Being open and transparent about what is occurring in your life (with proper boundaries, of course) can help you learn how to communicate with everyone in your life more constructively.
How To Choose a Financial Therapist
You can use a checklist to find a financial therapist for your specific needs and personality type.
Know the different types of therapists: Research the different therapy styles and personality traits of advisors before choosing the perfect one for you.
Select your services: Recognize what you need before selecting a financial therapist.
Budget: Only choose a certified financial therapist within your price range.
Check the background: The last step of finding a financial therapist is to check their qualifications and reviews.
What To Expect in Couple's Financial Therapy
Couples can expect a few different things when they head into financial therapy:
Talking with your partner about what upsets them (or you) when it comes to handling or discussing finances
Understanding you and your partner's financial patterns
Listening to how your partner feels about money and the current financial situation
Speaking with the therapist about how to improve communication skills and strategies
Learning coping skills to avoid arguments and deal with stressful situations
Is Financial Therapy for Couples Worth the Money?
If you are currently having money troubles, spending more money may seem like the last thing you want to do.
However, learning how to address your issues and emotional dynamics through marital or premarital financial counseling before they get out of hand is essential to nipping the problem in the bud to save your marriage and your bank account.
Although it will cost money upfront to find financial counselors, the initial investment can be well worth the long-term return.
FAQs
Should I Get Financial Therapy if I Have Anxiety Over Money?
Financial therapists can help you understand your relationship with money and why you feel the emotions you do.
They can help you understand your money mindset and how it relates to your money problems. Together, you can find ways to improve your emotional and financial health, benefitting you in many ways.
Will Financial Therapy Affect My Credit?
No, financial therapy doesn't affect your credit directly.
However, if you receive financial and emotional support from your therapist, you may improve your financial behaviors, which can help improve your credit.
Is Financial Therapy Covered by Insurance?
Typically, financial therapy isn't covered by insurance.
While it is disappointing not to have insurance cover the cost, know that seeking help from financial professionals can improve your financial and mental health.
How Can I Know if My Financial Therapist Is Certified?
The Financial Therapy Association posts a list of actively certified financial therapists. Consult this list when looking for a professional or ask a therapist you're considering if you could see their Financial Therapy Association certificate.
Can a Regular Therapist Give Financial Advice?
It's best to get financial advice from a certified financial therapist. While a regular family therapist can help you uncover the behaviors that cause financial strain, it's best to get true financial advice from licensed professionals.
How Can I Encourage My Partner To Go to Financial Therapy With Me?
If your partner isn't willing to go to financial therapy, consider starting therapy yourself. You can share the thoughts and ideas brought up in the session when you're at home with your partner.
Opening up about what you've learned and how the therapist helps you may convince your partner to try a financial therapist for couples with you.
Do You Need a Couples Financial Therapist?
Attending financial couples therapy or speaking to a financial advisor isn't only the best way to get out of debt, save money, and make intelligent financial decisions, but it is also arguably the best way to save a relationship with your partner.
If money issues and financial stress are negatively affecting your relationship, financial therapy for couples can offer long-term solutions to transform your life for the better.
Want to level up your game around money in your relationship? My free quiz will help you learn your Couple’s Money Personality Type AND how you can grow from there!
Adam Kol is The Couples Financial Coach. He helps couples go from financial overwhelm or fighting to clarity, teamwork, and peace of mind.
Adam is a Certified Financial Therapist-I™, Certified Mediator, and Tax Attorney with a Duke Law degree and a Master's in Tax Law from NYU. He is a husband, dad, and musician, as well.
Adam's wisdom has been shared with The Wall Street Journal, the Baltimore Ravens, CNBC, NewsNation, and more.
