Advice: What To Do When Husband Leaves You With No Money?
DISCLAIMER: This article is for general, information purposes and is not intended to constitute legal advice of any type. For specific advice for your situation, contact a qualified, licensed attorney in your area.
*Anything said here can apply to people of any gender and to any type of relationship
If your husband controls the money, you might wonder what to do when your husband leaves you with no money. Whether he abandoned you and didn't tell you where he was going or made a scene about leaving you with no money, you have rights to the marital home and assets.
It may feel like a huge life change to be free from a husband who controls the money, but when you take baby steps, it can be the best decision you make.
What To Do When Husband Leaves You With No Money
Here are some simple steps if you wonder what to do when your husband leaves you with no money. First, take it slow, don't make rash decisions, and get as much support as possible.
Open a Personal Bank Account and Credit Card
This first step is crucial. If you've lived in an unhappy marriage where your spouse controlled the finances, you may not have your own bank account and credit card, but now's the time.
You need only a few dollars to open a bank account, so don't worry if you don't have much. Go to your local bank and open an account in your name only. Make sure to do this alone, and do not go where your spouse banks.
Next, apply for a credit card. If you don't have any credit history in your name, then you may want or need to choose a secured credit card, which requires a small deposit and helps you build credit.
If you don't have any money to put down on it, consider asking a trusted family member to co-sign the credit card application for you.
Make a Budget
As you wonder what to do when your husband abandons you, list all expenses you must pay. If you don't have an income or a savings account, you won't be able to take on much, but now's the time to plan.
Consider the necessities that you must cover for your family, like clothing, food, shelter, and transportation, and figure out how you'll pay for it.
There are support groups available that provide resources for women in difficult situations. Don't be too proud to reach out to them, especially if you don't have two pennies to rub together and if you don't have family that can help.
There is nothing to be ashamed of — you were in a tough situation, and now you're taking back the reins in your life!
Make a Debt Plan
If your marriage had debt, you'd inherit 50 percent of it, too. Think about how you'll handle the debt moving forward. You don't have to pay it off all at once, so don't stress yourself about that just yet.
At this point, simply think about the relative priority of each debt and how you'll take care of it. Next, you may have to call your creditors and explain the situation.
You might be surprised to learn how understanding they can be and the plans they can offer. Talking to a personal finance expert can also make you feel more prepared during this time of change.
Start Earning Money/Redirect Your Pay to Your Personal Account
As you consider how to leave, you'll need to start earning money. If you're too afraid to get a job outside of the house, find ways to make money from home. You can begin freelancing online doing things like data entry, writing, proofreading, or graphic design.
Think back to what you're good at, even if you haven't used your skills for quite a while.
Ensure that any money you make is deposited in your own checking account so you have some accessible money that your husband can't take. If you don't have your own account yet, shop around various financial institutions to find the best fit for you.
If he's already left or threatened to leave, empower yourself by having your own money, even if it's a small amount. That money could be a marital asset, but having cash available in these pivotal moments nevertheless can make all the difference.
Look For Low-Cost Housing
If you're thinking, 'I want to leave my husband but have no money,' know that there are low-cost housing options for women in your situation.
First, ask friends or family if you can stay with them. If you can stay for free, it will be even easier to learn how to leave. If not, check with your local shelters or churches, and your local social services department should be able to offer options too.
Evaluate Health Insurance Options
Whether you're alone or have kids, you'll need health insurance. Of course, if you don't have a stable income, insurance might be the last priority on your list, but what happens if someone gets sick or hurt?
Check with your state resource information to find out how to apply for public aid insurance for you and the kids. Most states base eligibility on your income. You'll likely qualify for free or low-cost health insurance if you don't earn enough or need more money to make ends meet.
Talk to a Lawyer
If you're thinking, 'My husband abandoned me, what do I do?' first, know that you have rights. He can't just leave a marriage and leave you with no money. Then, seek legal help.
A family law attorney or divorce lawyer can help you understand your options and rights based on your particular situation and the relevant state or local laws.
If you have child-related expenses in addition to caring for yourself, your spouse is legally liable for them, no matter if he gave you a warning or just left. A lawyer can make sure that he takes responsibility for your child's financial security via child support as required by law.
What To Do When Your Husband Abandons You
Knowing what to do when your husband abandons you is crucial, especially if money is a concern. In a normal situation, you'll hire legal counsel, figure out the finances, and take care of the necessary details.
But divorce can be overwhelming, even if you are in an abusive relationship and are happy to see it end. Finding the right divorce attorney, taking care of your mental health, and figuring out the financial aspects of divorce can be a lot.
The key is to take it slow, breaking down what you should do into baby steps.
Hire Legal Counsel
Even if you think, 'I have no money,' it's imperative that you hire a quality divorce lawyer. If your husband wasn't nice during the marriage, think about how he might be during the divorce settlement—it probably won't be amicable.
Consider asking loved ones for financial support if you can't afford the attorney fees. If you confided in anyone about the abusive relationship you've endured, your family would likely support you in your efforts to leave.
If you don't have enough money to cover legal counsel, consider law school clinics or looking for a pro bono lawyer through local nonprofits or even large law firms.
Establish a Financial Arrangement
At some point, you and your ex-spouse must devise a financial arrangement. At first, this may feel overwhelming, especially if you think, 'My husband doesn't share his money with me.'
However, the law is on your side. He will have to share the money with you, especially any marital assets because it's the law. Since you are legally divorcing, the courts will decide what your ex-spouse must pay you, including spousal maintenance.
Note that each state has its own rules, and you'll want to speak with your attorney to know what's best in your specific situation.
If your ex-spouse chooses not to follow the court order, he could find himself in legal trouble, resulting in fines or jail time.
Thoroughly Read Over All Documents
Divorce is stressful. There are decisions to make and piles of paperwork you must read and understand. This is why having a good lawyer on your side is essential. You need someone to help you understand the documents, especially the financial agreements.
It's best if you don't share lawyers either. It may feel tempting because you can save money, but this creates a conflict of interest. If the arrangement doesn't allow the lawyer to focus on protecting your rights only, this could leave you with less than you deserve.
Many women have been in your position and have felt the same way, but now is the time to be selfish and demand that you have your representation to ensure you get what you deserve financially from the marriage.
Do Your Research
When he leaves you, it can feel like a sucker punch. Even if you were in an abusive relationship, you might feel lost. Don't let your emotions get in the way, though. Instead, research your rights, find a support group, and talk to your local social services department.
There are many resources for women who don't know how to leave a relationship or feel trapped in an unfair relationship.
So whether you're scared to go, worried your spouse won't leave you any money, or he's brainwashed you into thinking you'll never survive without him, there are available resources.
What Is Separate Maintenance Income?
If you're wondering how to get a divorce with no money, you might consider filing for separate maintenance income. This is like alimony, except it's spousal support for when you are separated and not yet legally divorced.
Separate maintenance income allows you to have financial support while leaving a relationship that isn't working.
To qualify for separate maintenance income, typically, you must prove there was a legal marriage, abandonment by your spouse, and your spouse failed to provide financial support.
If you're interested in seeing what financial counseling is all about, take advantage of my complimentary consultation!
Community vs. Separate Property
As you decide how to leave a marriage, in many states you'll have to understand the difference between community and separate property. In other words, you must learn which property you have rights to and which is off-limits.
Community property is any asset you and your spouse own together. Any money you or your spouse earned during the marriage, and anything bought with those earnings, usually becomes community property.
Separate property, on the other hand, is any asset you or your spouse owned before the marriage. This may include retirement accounts, savings, gifts, inheritance (even if actually received during the marriage), property, and other assets.
Examples of community property include:
A car you bought while married and with the funds earned during the marriage
A house you bought with shared money while married
Checking accounts you and your spouse owned together
Examples of separate properties include:
An asset your spouse inherited while you were married
A car you owned before you were married
A gift you received for you only
How To Move Out When You Have No Money
You're not alone if you wonder how to leave a marriage with no money. Moving out is one of the scariest yet most powerful steps.
At this point, you must ask for support, whether from your friends, family, or the local community. It's normal to feel hopeless at this point, but there are people that want to help you if you share your needs with them.
Ask to crash on a friend's couch, live with your parents, or stay at a local church until you figure things out.
As you get stronger, make money, and start saving, you'll be able to take baby steps, including getting yourself and your kids your own place. Initially, though, lean on as many people as you can.
When To Leave a Relationship
It's hard to know when to leave a relationship, especially if you have no money and feel you have nowhere to go. But if you've experienced any of these signs, it's time to figure out your next steps and get out.
You never feel happy, your spouse controls everything, and you never have a say in anything. This is especially true if your husband controls the money, leaving you with nothing.
You make excuses, expecting him to change. If you keep telling yourself he will change, or tomorrow he will be nice, then it's probably time to leave. Living without access to money and basic needs isn't any way to live, and you deserve better.
You experience verbal, financial, or physical abuse — there is never an excuse for any type of abuse. Whether your husband talks down to you, withholds money, or physically hits you, there is no justification for it, and you should leave.
FAQs
What Is Marital Abandonment?
Marital abandonment occurs when one spouse leaves the other spouse knowingly without any emotional or financial support. In most cases, you must prove the spouse purposely abandoned you and did not attempt to support you emotionally or financially.
How Much Money Should My Husband Give Me in the Divorce?
Every divorce case is different, but judges typically look at how much each spouse can make, how much each has in expenses after the divorce and the lifestyle each spouse is used to living.
In other words, your spouse won't get away with leaving you with no money after the divorce, as he must provide for you so you can have a safe and healthy life post-marriage.
Can I Sue My Ex-Husband for Financial Abuse?
You can use financial abuse as a reason for the divorce when you file.
Because it can make you feel trapped in the marriage and as if you cannot afford to leave, you can reference it in trying to get the financial support you deserve.
It can be challenging to prove the abuse in court, but it's possible with the help of an experienced lawyer and private investigator.
What Should I Do if I'm So Unhappy in My Marriage but I Can't Leave?
Learning how to leave if you're unhappy in your marriage is essential.
Whether you're wondering how to get a divorce with no money or worried about your well-being, you must get support from family, friends, and professionals to leave the situation. No one deserves to live unhappily or to feel threatened by someone they once loved.
Can My Husband Legally Take All the Money Away From Me?
Legally, there is nothing you can do to stop your spouse from taking money away from you unless you file for divorce proceedings.
However, if you start court proceedings, a court order will likely require your spouse to share 50% of the assets with you, so he won't be able to take away all the money.
Do I Have To Pay My Ex-Spouse's Bills?
The judge will decide how the bills get split in the divorce process, but typically, each partner is responsible for 50% of the bills.
If you have proof the bills never belonged to you and you didn't benefit from what the bill provided during the marriage, you may receive an exception, but ultimately, the judge decides.
How To Survive Divorce Financially
Knowing what to do when your husband leaves you with no money is essential. Whether you've been married for a long time or just a short while, any time in financial abuse is too long.
If you're worried you don't have enough money to leave your husband, seek counseling or financial support to figure out how to leave the relationship and get yourself back to safety.
I have professionals in my network who specialize in helping women going through a divorce, so you can always contact me if you're looking for additional resources.
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Adam Kol is The Couples Financial Coach. He helps couples go from financial overwhelm or fighting to clarity, teamwork, and peace of mind.
Adam is a Certified Financial Therapist-I™, Certified Mediator, and Tax Attorney with a Duke Law degree and a Master's in Tax Law from NYU. He is a husband, dad, and musician, as well.
Adam's wisdom has been shared with The Wall Street Journal, the Baltimore Ravens, CNBC, NewsNation, and more.
